Today also officially ended my 3 year relationship. And damn that article hit me. I've always loved like I was taught to love, like I was loved by my family. Openly, whole-heartedly, and without contest. Despite modern times I send snail mail, I make phone calls, and I believe in love. I also didn't hold the power.
Our relationship ended because he didn't know what he wanted. There are a million of options out there and in the end I was just an option. And I'd rather be nothing over an option.
Then this hit my instagram feed.
I'll be heading to Texas. To a state I've only been in twice, both times with a boy I thought I had a future with. I'll be creating a new future without him. I'll be hitting a killer learning curve. I'll probably cry. I may adopt the ugliest mutt dog I can find. But I'm not going to stop being who I am. I'm not going to degrade myself to the level of an option.
Life is difficult. Love is difficult. But I'm still better off hurt, sad, and motivated.
You are stronger than this. It doesn't feel like it now...and it won't for a while to be honest. BUT one day not too far in the future, you will look back and be so damn proud of yourself for how far you've come. Congrats on making the move and I wish you all the best!
ReplyDeleteOh, I'm so sorry you're going through this right now, but I'm glad that it seems you have found hope. And you know who you are, and that is so very important! Good for you for not letting yourself settle into being someone's option- you're so much more than that!
ReplyDeleteLori
My goodness! I know you tweeted me to tell me you were back in the blogging game but I am just BLOWN away by this news. My heart aches for you and nothing I say will make you feel better but I will say one of the many things I have admired about you is your strength. You're so brave, you moved down South and did your thing. Something I would be terrified to do. I can't imagine how you feel but I can't wait to see you continue to inspire me with just how incredible you are! GET IT GIRL!
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